Touching on Elimination communication

As with any aspect of parenting, there are a range of perspectives that map your path. Toilet training is but one of these journeys a parent is to travel. Elimination communication (EC) is but one method that deals with a child's toileting needs. It is also known as Infant pottying.

I first heard of EC when reading a parenting magazine. At this point I discarded it as some 'weird hippy thing'. The article focused on a family that practiced attachment parenting, eating the placenta, baby-wearing and co-sleeping. I think I was pregnant at the time, and the thought of any sort of parenting method out of main stream was a little overwhelming. It was not until my baby was 5 months old that I read about it again. In this second magazine it had a much fairer representation. It was not clustered with many other alternative parenting methods that could otherwise overwhelm a new mum. This article gave just a little bit of information that would act to inform mainstream readers of a different way to raise kids. From reading this article, I turned to my trusty computer to find out some more information.

EC can start any time from birth onwards, although it is said that a child has several 'sensitive' periods where they are more likely to catch on to the method. I first 'unnappied' my baby at around 5 months of age to get a feel for his toileting patterns. This does not mean that I decided to let my baby pee all over the place and clean the floor in place of a nappy. It was at this time that he got nappy free time, time to air out his privates in the heat of summer. It was not for about 2 weeks that he wee'd in the potty. I was ecstatic, beside myself and convinced that it was a coincidence. It was from this point that we started catching more and more wees in the potty. By far my favourite however, is when we catch his poos; the clean-up is so much easier!

I think the biggest criticism of EC is 'forcing the poor babies to sit on the potty until they go'. I can tell you that not only is this against the very principles of EC, but it is nigh on impossible to do anyway. There is absolutely no way to MAKE a baby go to the toilet. The key purpose and and method of EC is COMMUNICATION, that is the communication to and by a baby about his or hers elimination needs.

To start off with it has a lot to do with in-tune parents and care-givers recognising and responding to a baby's sign of discomfort before they need to eliminate. Have you ever noticed how often very little babies wee as soon as their nappy is removed? This is their instinct before they are nappy trained. Once the carer has recognised the need to eliminate, they then offer an opportunity to eliminate (somewhere other than in a nappy). Many carers make a particular sound that the baby then recognises as an opportunity to eliminate. We used a 'sss' sound. Now this is not to say that the child will not still soil their nappy, it depends on the age of the child, the temperament of the child, the family environment etc. Some people go nappy free from birth, some are part-time nappy free.

It is a well known 'fact' that children are unable to control their elimination until well into their toddler years. I can tell you right now, babies can and do control their elimination to some extent. Our EC journey is very much swings and round-abouts. Sometimes we can go a day or two without nappies, others we don't have a single catch. The highlights for me are having my son respond to my communication, or initiate a communication from which I may respond. These may vary from wiggling in his high-chair, to passing me his potty, to an "oh ohhh" to refusing to let me put on a nappy when he needs to use the potty. I also enjoy the ease of cleaning a tiny bottom that has used a toilet to one that has squished a poo in a nappy.

No matter how you feel on this, or any other particular issue of parenting, I think it is valuable to understand differences between families and cultures. I know that the relationship that I have with my son is richer because of the interactions we have had over the toilet and potty.